Laura Story
’s “Perfect Peace” is on repeat in my iTunes, and if I just focus on the words she’s singing, if I imagine God is speaking them to me, here and now, I feel alright.

Stay close by my side
Keep your eyes on me
Though this life is hard
I will give you perfect peace.

I don’t know what my deal is this week. Yesterday was great. Today, not so much. Already. From the get-go. I woke up late and was late to work. Then I sat in my office, trying to type up some meeting minutes, whilst having a miniature breakdown. Just small enough that I could pull myself out of it. But big enough that it mattered, to me. Big enough that it felt like there was no one else in the world in that moment who understood me and knew me and cared.

In this time of trial
Pain that no one sees
Trust me when I say
I will give you perfect peace.

And maybe it’s not that I don’t think there are people who understand me, know me, or care. (Not maybe. I know it’s not. Because I know there are those people.) Maybe it’s that, in this moment, those people aren’t enough. No matter how much I connect with any one person, no matter how many phone calls or e-mails or words written on my Facebook wall, I’m still left feeling empty.

And you’ll never walk alone
And you’ll never be in need
Though I may not calm the storms around you
You can hide in me.

Does it help to focus on these words just because they’re what I want to hear? Or does it help because these words are actually true? Is God really there urging me to trust Him? Or do I just hope He is? Have I just convinced myself that this is Him, when it’s really just a game I play by myself inside my own mind?

Burdens that you bear
Offer no relief
Let me bear your load
‘Cause I will give you perfect peace.

I know this will pass. Just as surely as yesterday was a good day, good days will come again. But maybe there’s a purpose to this bad day, this discontent in me. Maybe it’s trying to tell me something. Something about me. Something about God. Something.

Stay close by my side
And you’ll never walk alone
Keep your eyes on me
And you’ll never be in need
Though this life is hard
Know that I will always give you perfect peace
I will give you perfect peace.

Laura Story’s “Perfect Peace” is on repeat in my iTunes, and if I just focus on the words she’s singing, if I imagine God is speaking them to me, here and now, I feel alright.

Maybe Something

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Anonymous
I believe God is always speaking to us. As long as the words we experience are consistent with His character and His Word, we can be sure it is He that speaks. The trick is in believing that Truth and acting on it. But He’s there. He gives the strength to act. And something that I’ve been trying to remember in the last few weeks is that when I’m feeling lonely or out of sorts or homesick or just trying not to live in the past’s good memories is this: He is closer to my heart—and longing more for it—than… Read more »
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